Am knocking the 2015 door without any proper resolution or check list or bucket list. I just went through it. No reminder or warning. It's just another 365 pages of white plain book to be written on. The other part of life to be ventured. It's gonna be as tough as a 2013 and 2014 are but I pray that it's gonna be as wonderful and more awesome.
Last year, which was last 2 days, was a tough one. However, to compare to the year before, 2013 was tougher.. It was where I'm struggling to my last breath. It was a beginning of an ending. It was unexpected year of struggling, of tears, of disappointment, of memories and of an indescribable happiness.
So, 2014 was just a continuation with a little bit of improvement and additional flavours into the life so that it wont be too miserable. Naaahhh, my life is not miserable unless I want it that way. Just a tiny miny of it. Well, it cant be too perfect, can it? Am not an angel. Am just a struggling little human on earth.
I actually did a check list of my 2014 resolutions and its follow up. I can honestly say that 2014 check list are more for my pleasure, not a serious one. The more serious resolutions I ever made was in 2013 where buying a house and get a new job are part of it. Last year, the commitment was lesser. I put more pleasure, self-pampering, adventures and fun into it. I started to enjoy myself to the fullest and keep the distance to being serious for a moment. I feel younger in a way. And gain my weight tho. It's not easy not being serious of my life because it's not me. So, am doing that simultaneously, but giving more options to enjoying life. I purposely did not put commitment in 2014 resolutions as I don't want to put too much hope and expectation. I realized that am still at my starting level of reorganizing life being single, so having too high expectation towards myself is somehow a heartbreaking. It's unfair to punish myself that hard as I need not rush and catch something I don't have at the moment. So, relax and just go with the flow.
Well, less commitment means less achievement. I didn't achieve much. Still living in the same house (with more furnitures), paying its increasing rental. Still having the same 9 to 5 routine, with same attitude. Still driving with the other folks, enjoying the traffic jam....but in a different new car! Yeah, a new small red car. That is an achievement. I never thought I could get a new car but I did. Thanks to the financial planner. I even have a better saving account with better number. Most important, I am more confident with my life especially my financial management.
The rest, are the same stories. A new one. The one I could only enjoy in my single life. Ups and down for sure. Met new people ; a lot of new people. Get more bonding with the existing people I know in my entire life. Appreciate life more than I used to. Appreciate the people in my life more with being less selfish. Be a better Mama and really enjoying a life as a mother. I am very very grateful with all I have and the things I don't. Learnt a lot of lesson and can't wait to learn more.
Okay, am going to recap the so called 2014 list :
1st, my Master Degree. I managed to complete 7 papers in 3 semesters, and converted into MIFP (Master in Islamic Finance Practice). Unable to get exemptions for the basic papers but at least I only bring the last 3 papers for 2015. I hope I would complete all in one semester and be graduated by end of 2015. Horey!
2nd, the Cuti-cuti Malaysia and JJCM plan. This is completely a self-pampering bucket list. I have 9 local places on my first list which include Tioman Island, Kelantan-Terengganu, Malacca, Sabah, Sarawak, Ipoh, Langkawi and Johor Bahru. With the unplanned schedule, the broken promises, the very tight work routine, the unexpected extra work, I ended up with only 6 local places, which only 3 are according to the original plan while the rest are unplanned. Ipoh was the first planned trip. It was a great one. Only a day trip but my daughter and I really had a good time enjoying the food. Terengganu was in plan but the trip was unplanned. It's a long story and I dont wish to recap. Terengganu was a sweet memorable trip I ever had. Weeks after that, there were flooding. Pray to those involved in the bad flood in Pantai Timur area. Finally, it's Langkawi - the planned family trip that went well even-though my baby girl wasn't feeling well on the 2nd day. She did enjoy the trip and I do hope my family enjoyed it too. That's for local. The rest of the trip was for work except Cherating. I went to only 1 oversea trip - another Vietnam. And it was a wonderful Vietnam ever for I gain more experience there.
Okay, so the 3rd point was the saving. Didn't manage to get 20k coz there are few last minute expenses involved like buying a new car but Alhamdulillah I got half of it. Not really proud but at least I have a saving.
At 4th place, is the PTPTN matter. This is a small commitment which from no payment at all, I managed to reduce the total of 22k to 15k. It is still a commitment to be brought forward to 2015 until zero amount.
Next is.... the marathon! I love it. I thought I can participate at least 3 marathons last year but I only achieved one run. A 5km parkcity run with my colleagues. That was just okay. I better do more in the future.
Ermmmm that point number 6 was not a commitment. I was just trying my luck. I know I don't want to stay here anymore but I don't put much expectation. So to answer on that, I only started to submit resumes on November 2014. So until now, I am still trying and hoping. That will be my 2015 resolutions. Next entry.
Resolution number 7 is a tragic. I used to love my part time business so much that I would do anything for it. While taking care of it, I started to have less love and have no time for it. Felt like I was doing it alone without any support especially the time. I gave up. I tried to figure out where is the direction for my Pelangi Shoppe. If I have passion into business, I will work for it no matter what. No matter I do it alone. Finally I came to realize that, business is not my passion, but career is. Business is a hobby that I love so much which I have to do it. But being a hobby, I don't sacrifice much as a passion in career is. So, it is a tragic. A resolution that won't come true.
....and finally, number 8 - write a book ! This...is actually a dream. A dream that still didn't find its place. The book, the storyline, the Title, the cover and all of the look of my dream book are there but I lost one big thing that stop me from moving on to complete it. I lost the ideas. I lost it when my life started to turn to more happiness from miserable. I tried to search for it but I was too busy to do so. I did a Cherating trip for that purpose but all I got was only a chapter of it's own. No book. I want a book but there's no book. Until now, I am trying to get the character inside me for me to finish the whole story of Kerana Pilihan. I hope one day, this single dream will come true. I want to be an author beside the career I am chasing for.
8 main resolutions. I only achieved one. And I'm still interested to have another resolutions for 2015. The fun is expected to be continued in years ahead and must not stop. However, the serious part should be continued as well, realizing that am not getting younger. Of course, I am not getting younger. Am counting the years. When to marry and have babies. When to be an expert. When to become rich. When to travel abroad. When to become a boss. When to be so wealthy that I can help other people in needs. At least before I die.....
My journey last year was indeed a must to remember. I learnt too much of lesson that I can't stop learning now. Am so eager to face more challenges and adventures of life. I'll forever be a student of life. Doing great things like what I did. Tried out new things, where some of it will only last once and some will still be continued. Meeting great people of their own life stories. Went to places to see other human being on earth so that I can be more grateful. Keep on learning and realized that the more we learn, the less we know.
I sincerely love my journey of life and I want more.
Hello 2015 ! Don't forget to be awesome.